We are jealous of our secret identity for many reasons, among them that we often laugh when it is wholly “inappropriate” — we believe that is the word — to do. Please do not condemn us for this. We bet that you also have some ugly vice that you are ashamed of.
Herewith, the evening’s ugly linkage.
So, this absolutely has to be the most laugh-out-loud correction to appear in the New York Times since, well, the invention of corrections.
That, ladies and germs, ain’t a mere typo. Shakespearean as it may be, no cube farm full of monkeys, or Grey Lady interns, could have come up with that randomly banging on their keyboards. The New York Times must have accidentally hired somebody with a great sense of humor and a poor handle on office politics. As so often happens.
New York City has joined San Francisco and Austin in restricting plastic grocery bags. New York has merely required retailers to charge a fee instead of imposing an outright ban, which is just as well considering this handy bit of news:
A whopping 97 percent of consumers don’t regularly wash their bags, according to a report from the University of Arizona and Loma Linda University. Their researchers swabbed 84 bags for bacteria, and the findings were outright nasty: coliform bacteria in half, E. coli in 12 percent.
When San Francisco banned plastic bags, the number of E. coli infections spiked. Even worse, the number of foodborne-illness deaths rose a whopping 46 percent in the three months after the bag ban began.
We wonder if anybody has done a similar study in Austin, which banned disposable bags in 2013. We did find this report, which found that Austin’s law has not — be sure you are sitting down — produced the expected environmental benefits because of “unintended” consequences. Uh, if a consequence is obvious to a normal person, by which we do not mean a “progressive” activist, it cannot be said to be unintended.
This is totally harsh. But funny.
— Ursa (@Ursanacha) May 11, 2016
If we needed more evidence that populism of the left and right are not really very different, the prosecution should rest on this bit of polling data: Over four in 10 Sanders voters in West Virginia would vote for Trump. To be fair, these are West Virginian Sanders voters, which are probably not yer usual Sandersnistas, but still…
A couple of San Francisco cops beat the hell out of a suspect for no obvious reason, and the whole thing is caught on surveillance cameras. Video here. The beaten suspect is named “Petrov” and the vicious cop on point rejoices in the name of Luis Santamaria, so the usual narrative fails, but here is my question: How is it that it does not occur to cops in San Francisco in 2016 that they might get caught because, you know, cameras everywhere? Setting aside Santamaria’s apparently defective character, how do you give somebody that transportingly stupid a state-sanctioned monopoly on the lawful use of force?
In the hunt for this suspect, don’t bother checking the dental records.
We can’t decide whether this is more weird than cool, or the reverse.
That is all.